


They’d Call Us Star-Crossed if we Weren’t Such a Tragedy

by ussihavelovedthestarstoofondly



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:28:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24068860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ussihavelovedthestarstoofondly/pseuds/ussihavelovedthestarstoofondly
Summary: This is the story of love. Well, I’ve been informed that love is probably secondary, or maybe the third driving aspect of this tale.The first two, I’ve been informed, are duty and family. And maybe one could argue that love is the basis for those, but the point of this isn’t a philosophical discussion.The point of this is to tell the galaxy that at the end of the day ARC Trooper Fives and his Jedi were just two people who loved their family as much as each other and that they had a whole life together before they made the ultimate sacrifice the ensure that the Republic, the Jedi, and the Clones had the chance of lives after the war.The point of this is to tell the tale of the clone and the Jedi, and how they would have gone down in history as star-crossed lovers if they didn’t end up as such a tragedy.
Relationships: ARC Trooper Fives x Reader, fives x reader
Comments: 20
Kudos: 105
Collections: Echo&Fives





	1. Introduction and Part One- Captain Rex

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Fives x Reader fic where it’s written as a book through a series of interviews conducted by the author. Due to the styling of this fic i used “she” and “her” instead of “you” for the reader. 

This is the story of love. Well, I’ve been informed that love is probably secondary, or maybe the third driving aspect of this tale. 

The first two, I’ve been informed, are duty and family. And maybe one could argue that love is the basis for those, but the point of this isn’t a philosophical discussion. 

The point of this is to tell the galaxy that at the end of the day ARC Trooper Fives and his Jedi were just two people who loved their family as much as each other and that they had a whole life together before they made the ultimate sacrifice the ensure that the Republic, the Jedi, and the Clones had the chance of lives after the war. 

The point of this is to tell the tale of the clone and the Jedi, and how they would have gone down in history as star-crossed lovers if they didn’t end up as such a traged

***

I’d like to offer a special thanks to the following people for their willingness to talk and be open with me about this tragedy and the lives lost: 

Retired Jedi Master Anakin Skywalker 

Captain Rex 

ARC Trooper Echo

Retired Jedi Commander Ahsoka Tano 

Commander Fox 

Thank you for sharing with me this story. The Galaxy cannot repay you for what you lost that day and over the course of the war.

***

In undertaking this book I decided on a specific set of questions to ask each of those who chose to interview with me. 

Those questions are as follows: 

1\. Can you think of a specific event or incident that described Fives?

2\. Can you think of a specific event or incident that described her?

3\. What was her and Fives’ relationship like? Can you elaborate on how it grew? 

4\. Was there a moment when you knew she loved him? Or vice versa? 

5\. What is one moment that you think defined their relationship?

6\. Do you think they survived? 

In asking these questions I thought for a long time about how I wanted to format this book. When I started trying to make it chronological, I felt it lost a lot of the feeling, the emotion and humanity, that the interviews carried in them. It felt like a disservice to her and Fives to create a chronological story. Instead, I’ve chosen to write a transcript of the interviews as they occurred.

If I have misinterpreted anyone or anything within this story, that was never my intention and I apologize. All I want to come out of this piece is to show people that there were people, lives and families, behind the ARC Trooper and the Jedi who gave their lives to bring peace to the Galaxy. 

And to Fives and her: may the stars carry you on a soft journey home. 

## Part One: Interview with Captain Rex 

**Author:** **Can you think of a specific event or incident that described Fives?**

{Rex laughs at this.} 

**Rex:** Oh god, where do I even start? Fives and Echo were the oldest after me, and Fives decided way back on Kamino before I met him that Chaos was his middle name and that he would spend his whole life distributing it, especially if it made his brothers laugh. When shinies came to the five-oh-first they always seemed to gravitate towards Fives. 

**A:** Shinies? 

**R:** Right, sorry. We called the new, fresh-from-Kamino cadets shinnies cause their armor was still bright white. 

Anyway, an event or incident that describes Fives. Well, the Umbara incident was up there but… {Rex glances out the window, taps his foot on the floor} we don’t really _talk_ about that. I think a good… incident and that is the only way to describe this thing, is the time he set off illegal fireworks over Coruscant for the five-oh-first. He refused to tell me where he got them, and _damn_ it’s hard to be mad at him when he was clearly trying so hard to make us happy. And it worked. His brothers _loved_ it. I don’t know how he didn’t get in trouble, but I know she was close with Fox and the Guard so I think she probably talked them into letting it happen. 

But either way, he woke all of us up at some early hour and hauled us up to the top of the Jedi temple to watch this very illegal fireworks show that consisted of only blue and white fireworks. Blue and white were the colors of the five-oh-first. Caring like that… that was _very_ Fives.

**A:** That’s very sweet. {Rex laughs, but it’s stained with sorrow.}

**R:** Fives was a lot of things, but he wasn’t really sweet. At least, not around anyone who wasn’t her. He cared deeply for his brothers, but he was a little shit. He wasn’t very sweet about it. 

**A: Can you think of a specific event or incident that described her?**

{Again, Rex laughs at the question.} 

**R:** If anyone ever tells you that Skywalker was the crazy one of the five-oh-first generals, they’re _lying_. Not to say Skywalker wasn’t crazy, but together? Together she was the crazy one and it’s a miracle they didn’t accidentally kill one another. At least, that’s how it all seemed to us for the first couple months working with them. 

But really, what it all comes down to, is the fact that the Jedi were trained to be peacekeepers. Are they good fighters, yeah _crazy_ good. But they’re not used to leading a battalion or even a squad into battle. Charging straight through the enemy worked for those aggressive glow-stick wielding _maniacs_ {Rex says this with a soft look on his face and an extremely fond grin} but it doesn’t really work for clones. Learning to fight together was an adjustment for everyone. 

But anyway, her and Skywalker together were _terrifying_. On and off the battlefield. They were best friends, and sometimes I swear it was like they were reading each other's minds. They were two of the best soldiers I’ve ever fought beside. 

But it wasn’t her prowess on the battlefield that really made her stick out to me. What everyone needs to realize, and often forgets, is that she and Skywalker were _nineteen_ when the war started, and suddenly they were leading men into battle with no idea how to fight with blasters. As Master Kenobi always likes to say, the Jedi find blasters “inelegant”. {Rex snorts at that.} 

She realized that at some point, something would have to give. Clones may have been bred to be soldiers, and Jedi may be masters of their emotions, but nobody can fight forever. And she realized that something’s gotta _give_ somewhere, and it’ll be either good or bad. And so she decided to make it good and taught Anakin and the five-oh-first how to do cartwheels at four am in the middle of the rain on some planet I can’t remember the name of anymore, and I remember that was the first time I’d seen Fives laugh so hard he cried. Hardcase and Jesse sucked at cartwheels. Echo almost broke his neck trying to do a backwards hand spring, and Kix would’ve been pissed if he hadn’t been busy laughing until he couldn’t breathe at Jesse swearing up a storm in Mando’a at the two Jedi. 

**A:** Sounds like a lot of fun. 

**R:** Yeah, we had some good times. She and Anakin were good at carving out those little moments for us. She always told us that we had to remember that there was something for us at the end of the war, that it wasn’t just the Republic we were fighting for. 

**A:** And what did you think about that?

**R:** It took me a _long_ time to understand it. I think I get what she was trying to tell us back then. She was trying to remind us that we were people, and that we would have to learn that after the war. 

**A: What was her and Fives’ relationship like? Can you elaborate on how it grew?**

**R:** Well, the shortest description would be ‘lightning in a bottle’ but that kind of does a disservice to them. Yeah, they were kids when they first met but they also weren’t. They’d both had to grow up way too fast and I think they kind of bonded over that. I think they found kindred spirits in each other: determined, fiery, always willing to lay themselves down to ensure others would survive. I think they grew into adulthood together and that they were better people for it. 

**A:** You think it made them better people?

**R:** Yeah. As much as she was an agent of chaos like Skywalker and Fives, she also mellowed him out a lot. And in return I think he helped her calm down, too. She wouldn’t ever _talk_ about it, at least not to us, but her Master was killed on Jabiim. The way Skywalker told it, on the one instance when he did _talk_ about it, she used to be a lot calmer, more rational before then. After that it kind of became her personal vendetta to save everyone. Something that, in war, isn’t possible. I think Fives helped her a lot with that. 

**A:** You say think, can you elaborate on that? 

**R:** Yeah, sure. I say ‘think’ because Fives, unlike with basically **anything else** , was really reticent about talking about her and their relationship. He told me it was because he wanted to respect her privacy, but I think part of it too was that clones share everything, and he wanted just that little something to himself. There was that night when Cody kept giving him Alderanian whiskey, but that… That was after they got married and also a long story. 

**A:** And how would you say their relationship grew?

**R:** I think it really was kind of like them growing into it together. At least on Fives’ end it seemed like it started out as a stupid crush. She was gorgeous, smart, a really quick learner, and _kind_. Kindness wasn’t something us clones were familiar with, and that definitely made all of us like her _a lot._

As they got older, and eventually got married, they did really grow into themselves. She got more confident in her abilities to lead and let go, and Fives mellowed out a little. They were definitely good for each other. 

**A: Was there a moment when you knew she loved him? Or vice versa?**

**R:** Well, like I said Fives was unusually reticent with what information he told us about her, and she was… {Rex laughs quietly} Well, she was a Jedi. She was very good at hiding her emotions. But I think it was more the little things that kind of added up to spell it all out. Kinda like a puzzle. 

**A:** Little things? 

**R:** Yeah. Like when it was just the five-oh-first and maybe with Anakin, she’d hold his hand on the transport back from missions. Pull his glove off and tuck into her belt with her saber so she could really feel his skin. It was kinda nice to see, actually. Made her, and the rest of the Jedi by extension, feel more human to us. They all preached the control of emotion, and they didn’t touch. Touch is really important to clones. We use it to ground us to ourselves, to our brothers, to the world around us. It’s how we say words that the Kaminoans never taught us: I care about you, I love you, I’m right here, it’s ok to be weak. And maker it took her _seconds_ to realize how important it was to us. And she spent the rest of the war, the rest of her _life_ , watching and learning and touching because it _matters_ to clones. And I don’t think she ever really got comfortable with it, but she put in a damn good effort. And the way she touched Fives was… it was sure. Solid. She took comfort in it just as much as Fives did. 

Watching her pull off Fives glove and lace her fingers through his in the red landing lights of the LAATi? I didn’t know if it was love, but I knew it was _big_. 

**A: What is one moment that you think defined their relationship?**

**R:** {Laughs, runs his hand over his head}. I mean, honestly, I can think of two moments that really highlight their relationship and their ability to be both soldiers and lovers. The first one, was that they got married in a bathroom in 79’s. 

**A:** 79’s? The clone bar on Coruscant? {Rex laughs again, and it’s the first one that doesn’t seem completely saturated with sadness.}

**R:** Yeah. It was exactly as crazy as you can imagine it would be. Most of the clones were drunk. Cody, maker bless his soul, officiated. I will admit, only because I’m sure any of my brothers that you talk to will immediately tell you this, that I was drunk and definitely cried. However, in my defense, Anakin was also drunk and we cried together. I think I mentioned earlier that she was Skywalker’s best friend, but the more accurate description is that he was her brother. They grew up together as younglings and then as Padawans. When her Master died on Jabiim she was knighted, but I know Kenobi kind of took her under his wing after that. She and Skywalker were thick as thieves. You’re planning on talking to him, right? 

**A:** Oh yeah, definitely. 

**R:** Good. He can give you insight into her like no one but Fives could. And well, everything Fives knew about her he took with him to the bottom of Kamino’s ocean, with her in tow. {Rex smiles, but it’s all agony and no happiness.} 

Anyway, their wedding. We crammed the five-oh-first, Commander Fox and some of the Coruscant guard, Skywalker, Tano, Cody, Waxer, and Boil into this bathroom in 79’s and Cody officiated. It was short and sweet, and since they couldn’t exchange rings she handed him her saber and let him carry it around all night. He was so damn _proud_ because she _never_ let go of that thing. I don’t think I ever saw her without it. Kenobi, on the other hand, I swear I saw Cody with it far more than I ever saw Kenobi carrying it. {Rex huffs out something that sounds like it once was a laugh}. But anyway, it was a good night. A really good night. Afterwards we all went out and Anakin bought everyone milkshakes, and gave some sappy speech about how she was his sister and how amazing she was. He was pretty drunk, but you could tell that he cared a lot. 

The second one would be the one time she stopped him from going over a cliff. Well, that’s not quite accurate. She didn’t actually stop him from going over a cliff, she _jumped_ off of the cliff after him. It was pretty horrifying to watch, the way she didn’t think or look she just jumped. And she did manage to catch him, and she must have used the force but they landed ok. But she would have done anything for him. 

**A:** I didn’t have this question on the list, but did they ever talk about having kids? 

**R:** {Rex wrinkles up his nose like I just waved something exceptionally fowl under it.}

I really, _really_ don’t want to know what bedroom activities my brother and my Jedi got up to. {At the point he holds up a finger, and grins.} That being said, there was a _memorable_ night at 79’s where Cody kept giving him Rigelian brandy and he would not _shut up_ about her. Said they had plans for after the war. They were gonna build a house. By hand, he specified, and have lots of kids. Boil made the mistake of asking Fives what the hell he knew about makin’ kids and I’ve never seen drunk clones move faster than they did trying to get him to _shut the hell up_ about that. {Rex smiles, and this is the first time in our whole interview when it seems to be genuine. No one will ever understand the bond between these brothers, myself included in that, but I can attest to you that it goes deep, into the very core of themselves where it’s set down deep roots.} 

Unfortunately for us, as I remember it, the conversation went something like this: 

_**Boil:** What the hell do you know about makin’ kids?_

_**Fives:** Well dear Boil, it's like puzzle pieces. When there’s a penis and a vagina—_

_**Echo:** oh my god STOP..._

_**Hardcase:** {Reaches across the booth to cover Echo’s mouth} Let him finish._

_**Fives:** —as I was saying before Echo rudely interrupted...for human species in heterosexual terms, the first step is find the correct hole. Now, make sure you get it right, or you won’t be making babies. you’ll be making ice packs for your face when a fist meets your eye._

**A:** You’re kidding. 

**R:** I try not to think about it. But I guess the moral is, yeah, they had talked about kids. And they would have been _amazing_ parents. 

**A:** Thank you so much for all of that, Rex. {Rex explained when I was first emailing him that he’s not a Captain anymore. He’s a civilian and gets to be with his brothers and that’s all he wants to worry about for now.} I have one last question, and I know it’ll be very sensitive. 

**R:** I’m pretty sure I already know what it is. I’ve heard the rumors people have started. Ask away. 

**A: Do you think they survived?**

**R:** {Rex huffs, and his eyes look watery. He takes a deep breath, spreads his hands flat on the table top on either side of his yellow coffee mug.}

You’ve seen the videos, right? The little bit of security footage, and the footage of the platform sinking? {I nod.} As good as they were, an ARC Trooper and a Jedi… I don’t think _anyone_ could have survived that. But they died together, and that I think will, eventually, be enough closure for me because there were plenty of times when they almost _didn’t_ die together. 

I know they both would have, willingly, laid their lives down for the Republic and the Jedi. To know that they didn’t leave the other alone, to be able to have that comfort, I think that’s the best death they could have asked for. {Rex smiles then, and his eyes sparkle. He doesn’t elaborate further, but it seems like there’s something else that he won’t tell me. I have no conclusive proof of that. It was simply a gut feeling.}

**A:** Thank you for your time. I hope that I can bring some humanity to the Republic’s heroes. {Rex smiles, but it’s a little sad.}

**R:** I don’t think they’d like being called heroes. I know they wouldn’t. It’s what they are, but they wouldn’t like it. To them, they were just doing their jobs. Their duty. 


	2. ARC Trooper Echo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author: Can you think of a specific event or incident that described Fives?  
> {Echo smiles, but it looks like it carries the ghost of his brother in it.}   
> Echo: Well… {He scratches at the stubble over his jaw, and haunted is the best way I can describe his face.}  
> How much… or what do you know about Umbara?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments give me life.   
> Come scream at me on tumblr at @icanbringyouincold

** _ARC Trooper Echo:_ **

**Author:** **Can you think of a specific event or incident that described Fives?**

{Echo smiles, but it looks like it carries the ghost of his brother in it.} 

**Echo** : Well… {He scratches at the stubble over his jaw, and haunted is the best way I can describe his face.}

How much… or what do you know about Umbara? 

**Author:** Admittedly not much. I know it was considered a… tragedy. 

{Echo scoffs at that.} 

**E:** Tragedy doesn’t cover it. I wasn’t there, but from what I managed to get out of Fives… Well, one of the easiest ways to put it is this. I’ve never been scared of her or Anakin. Never. They were amazing generals, fiercely loyal and protective to a fault. But I was at that mission brief that Rex gave when they got back, and I’m not force sensitive, but I didn’t need to be. You could  _ feel _ the fury rolling off of her like wind over the lip of a glacier. Not fury at my brothers mind you, but fury at Krell and what he did to them. It’s the one and only time I’ve been scared of my Jedi. 

But anyways, this is about Fives not her. I suppose, in some ways, she’s still far easier to talk about than he is. It’s only been a year and half since… {Echo shakes his head, takes a deep breath} Fives and I were from the same batch y'know, and we joined the 501st together, became ARC Troopers together, we did everything together and I had always just kind of assumed that we’d die the same way. And well… obviously we didn’t. And not to say I didn’t love her, she was like an older sister to me. But the space where Fives was feels a lot like a missing limb, and the wound she left feels more like a deep, bone-deep, laceration. 

Well, I’m way off course now. But anyway, on Umbara Fives, Jesse, and Hardcase went against direct orders to save a lot of lives. They succeeded, and turned the battle in our favor, but Krell, {Echo’s face shifts at the name: he looks disgusted by it} he decided that meant they needed to be executed, to make an example out of them. Fives had known that death might have been one of the consequences, execution not so much, but either way he did it anyway because he knew it mattered, that it would save lives. And it did. It did make a difference. 

That, I think, is really what describes Fives. The willingness to, if necessary, lay down his life for what was  _ right _ , for his brothers, and the steely spined determination to do anything necessary to ensure his brothers survival. And in the end, he did lay down his life so his brothers could  _ live _ . 

**A: Can you think of a specific incident that described her?**

{Echo huffs in amusement at this, and smiles.} 

**E:** That’s kinda hard to answer just because there were so many aspects to her. Sometimes it felt like looking at a different person cause you’d see the General, and then the sister, and then the side of her that reminded you that she was so  _ young  _ when the war started. But I guess the one that describes her the most was one time we’d been in a bad fight and General Kenobi came and picked us up. Once on the  _ Negotiator _ the majority of the 501st was in the medbay. And she wouldn’t leave the medbay, whether she was helping Kix with something because she’d finally irritated him enough to let her do something, or just pacing, or standing watch. Kix tried to throw her out a couple times to make her sleep but she’d always be back an hour later to check on {Echo makes air quotes with his fingers here} “her boys”. 

Well, when Skywalker came around and mentioned, in front of Kix, that she hadn’t slept in thirty-six hours… {Echo laughs} it didn’t go over well. Kix tore her a new one for that. Eventually she admitted she’d  _ tried _ to sleep, and just kept waking up with nightmares so Kix set her up a cot and let her pass out in the medbay. She slept the rest of the thirteen-hour trip back to Coruscant. 

**A:** Sounds like she cared a lot for you and your brothers. 

**E:** Yeah, she did. She was hell-bent on dragging all of us through this war to the other side, one way or another. And she did. She got us through by giving her life. I guess that’s one way she and Fives’ are similar. They saw a solution, and they acted. Consequences be damned, it was as easy as that to them. 

**A: What was her and Fives’ relationship like? Can you elaborate on how it grew?**

**E:** Well, honestly, I thought it was just going to be a stupid crush. That’s kinda how Fives was. A damn good soldier, whip smart, and pretty romantic, too. He never talked to Rex about it, but sometimes he’d tell me that he liked to think about what he would do after the war. What he’d like to accomplish and learn. See, the Kaminoans raised and bred soldiers. The only thing we ever learned was how to fight, and consequently, how to die. He wanted to learn why there were entire books dedicated to people arguing over art, he wanted to learn about the animals and plants we’d march past on missions, and his daydream that he held onto for when things got unspeakably shitty was to daydream about going to school or spending days holed up in a library. 

And he’d say he was in love with any pretty thing he saw and so when he said he was in love with her I didn’t really think anything of it. He fell in love with lots of people. But then about a month later I noticed he was still talking about her, and so I started listening. And what he said… well it wasn’t just a passing fancy. He talked about what she taught him, how they talked about their childhoods and the similarities and differences in growing up as a clone versus as a Jedi. And she taught him the mythology of her home planet. She always told him, and us although she never told us the meaning behind it, that “you and your brothers burn too bright become anything other than stars after you die. Take comfort in that. Your brothers may not be beside you, but they’re always watching over you, racing through the stars.” 

But anyway, their first date she took him to the library of the Jedi Temple. Their intentions, Fives said, had been to peruse through some books and then go to dinner. They both stumbled into oh-six-hundred drills  _ exhausted _ . They never left the library, and had spent all night reading. 

But their relationship kind of naturally progressed like that. She did everything she could to feed his love of knowledge, and he did everything he could to give her some confidence. Her confidence in leading had been… ha. I guess obliterated is probably the best word for it. She didn’t talk to us about what happened on Jabiim, but she talked to Fives about it. She hated having to lead, having to make decisions that might kill someone.She was a good leader, caught onto battle tactics and plans very fast, and Fives’ slowly helped her with that. 

And that’s essentially the basis of their relationship: learning and helping as a two way street. 

**A: Was there a moment when you knew she loved him? Or vice versa?**

**E:** I’ve heard the phrase “eyes are the windows to the soul” before but I’d never really known what it meant until I saw the way she looked at him. Fives wore his heart on his sleeve, it was no mystery to anybody that he loved her. But she was a Jedi. She was far more closed off when around others. With just the five-oh-first yeah, she’d be pretty lovey-dovey with him. Or at least lovey-dovey by Jedi standards. But the way she looked at him? No Jedi training could hide it. She would have burned the galaxy down for him if he’d asked. And everytime she looked at him, you could see it. It was practically a declaration of love written in her eyes. 

But a specific moment? There was a mission we went on tracking down Ventress to an outer rim planet. It was all rocky caves and mountains and we were searching a cave when there was a cave-in. That was one of two times that I saw her willingly let go of her saber. The second was at her wedding, but regardless she dropped it and tackled Fives out of the way. Coms wouldn’t work through the rock so we had no way of knowing if they were ok. Anakin said he could still feel their force signatures, so we knew they were alive but beyond that… We managed to get around to the other side of that particular tunnel and get through to them. Ahsoka carried her saber for her. 

I was checking out a side tunnel and she got in some damn good punches before she realized it was me. She muttered something about Fives needing Kix, and passed out. 

Her first response when he was injured, despite her own pretty severe injuries, was to fight to the death anything that threatened him. {Echo laughs} That was. Well, that was kind of when I knew that she loved him. A Jedi who was scared and hurt that she couldn’t be the peacekeeper, the helper, that she’d sworn to be was willing to go head to head with anything in a fight, no questions asked, to defend him. 

And with Fives? You could see it all over his face. I can’t pinpoint the moment it changed, but somewhere along the way it went from love-sick-fool-crush to a that's-the-love-of-my-life look. And he was happy with her, and she loved him and that was enough for me. 

**A: What is one moment that you think defined their relationship?**

**E:** Well, I can think of a couple moments. One that was more about  _ me  _ than  _ him _ but that said a hell of a lot was…. we were the last two of our batch alive when we went to the Citadel. Getting in actually turned out to be the easier part. Anyway, I went to try to get on the ship we were gonna use to get out, and it got shot. With a cannon. Whole damn thing blew up and all I remember is darkness and pain. 

But, at least the way Ahsoka told it to me, she took one look at Fives, was reading his emotional signature Ahsoka thinks, and bolted into the wreckage to find me. I have no idea how she managed to find me, or pull me out, but Ahsoka’s guess is she could feel my force signature. 

Kenobi didn’t like that she did that, at all, and I’m not sure their relationship ever recovered. I know for a fact that his reaction to that incident is why she never told him about herself and Fives. 

But to get back on track, the reason this is important to  _ them _ is because she wouldn’t let my death hurt Fives, not when she could feel I was alive and not when she could stop the hurt. She risked her life hoping that I’d live long enough to get back to the cruiser and that Fives’ wouldn’t lose another brother. Like I said earlier, she was hell-bent on getting us all through the war, and protecting Fives by whatever means possible. 

**A:** A follow up question to that, did she think about how her death would hurt him? What if she had gotten hurt doing that? 

**E:** She probably didn’t, and not in a bad way. She saw the possibility of Fives getting hurt, she saw a solution, and she acted. As simple as that. At least, it was that simple to her. 

**A:** I have one more question, and by the look on your face I think you already know what it is. 

**E:** {Echo nods, and his face is full of grief.} I’m pretty sure I do. You’re not the first person to ask me about it, but ask away. 

**A: Do you think they survived?**

**E:** I’m going to be blunt with you, and by extension all of the people out there digging and trying to find evidence that they lived. 

I do not believe my brother or my Jedi walked away from Kamino. I do not believe they survived for one simple, easy reason. They weren’t looking to. They’re mission was to destroy the platform that housed the chip control center and by extension the control center, that was it. If they lived long enough to escape, then great and they’d figure that out once they got that far and if they didn’t get that far, then they’d die together and knowing that they had saved the galaxy and for them that was enough. 

And really, I don’t think it matters. I’m going to ask you, and by extension everyone else who will contemplate that question: does it really matter if they’re alive? Dead or alive, they went above and beyond fulfilling their duty. They saved the goddamn galaxy. And even if they did survive, which I do not believe they did, I wouldn’t blame them for disappearing. They don’t owe anyone answers or explanations and they would have been at the center of a political and media frenzy. They don’t owe reporters or authors or the GAR or Jedi or anyone _jack shit_. No offense to authors. 

**A:** None taken. You’re right. 

**E:** My final thoughts on this are these: my brother and my Jedi fought to the bitter end for the galaxy. They gave their lives to ensure that everyone else would continue to have theirs. They’ve fought their fight and, dead or alive, it’s their turn for rest. They’re lying at the bottom of Kamino’s ocean where it’s quiet, and dark, and peaceful. Let them have that. _Let them have their peace._


	3. Retired Jedi Commander Ahsoka Tano

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author: Can you think of a specific event or incident that described Fives?
> 
> Tano: {She laughs, a wistful look crossing her face.} Maker, I miss them. Between the two of them, they could always get a smile out of me or Anakin or the five-oh-first. Working together they were dangerous. 
> 
> So a moment that describes him. Well, on one shore leave I managed to convince the boys to take me to 79’s. And by ‘the boys’ I mean Jesse and Fives because they were the easiest to convince.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are life. Come yell at me on tumblr @icanbringyouincold

**Author: Can you think of a specific event or incident that described Fives?**

**Tano:** {She laughs, a wistful look crossing her face.} Maker, I _miss_ them. Between the two of them, they could always get a smile out of me or Anakin or the five-oh-first. Working together they were dangerous. 

So a moment that describes him. Well, on one shore leave I managed to convince the boys to take me to 79’s. And by ‘the boys’ I mean Jesse and Fives because they were the easiest to convince. 

And we all got a little drunk and Rex got a little worried about having an underage drunk padawan around so, like a good captain, he called her to come pick me up because he knew she would tuck me and make me drink water and take some Tylenol whereas Skywalker would let me suffer the consequences of my mistakes. {Ahsoka laughs again.} I don’t know who started it, but someone had started saying that she and Anakin were co-parenting me with Obi-Wan being the cool grandparent who stepped in when the new parents were overwhelmed. Anakin, par for the course, _hated_ that but she thought it was hilarious. 

So Rex says she’s on her way and I can already see Fives’ heart eyes. He’s been head-over-heels for her since the day she strode across the landing pad to hop onto the LAATi with them to head out for a mission. For a long time after Jabiim… Well this is about Fives. Anyway, I’m drunk and I decide that if anyone deserves a happy ending it’s her and Fives. Fives is also very drunk so I bet him that he won’t ask her out. Rex is wishing that he could simply launch himself _directly_ into the void because it took about point two seconds for the rest of Fives’ brothers to jump on that train, too. 

It went about as spectacularly as you can imagine if what you're imagining is a dumpster fire or a _very_ pissed off loth wolf. 

But damn Fives gave it a good effort. He really did love her. I don’t think it was love, not back then, but he had seen the road to love and he was gonna drive it the whole kriffing way. 

Anakin would later tell me that she thought Fives was pulling some sort of prank which is why she shut down over it, but they clearly did ok afterwards. 

**A:** I heard that they went on a first date to the Jedi Temple’s library. 

**Tano:** Yep, that’s just like them. _Was_ just like them. Fives was head over heels and dedicated to figuring out what the hell that meant and how to be a good boyfriend and later on husband, and she was the same way. 

**A: Can you think of a specific event or incident that described her?**

**Tano:** I can think of _a lot_ that described her. I’m kind of thinking I should’ve asked for the questions _before_ the interview. 

**A:** I wouldn’t have given them to you. I want the most off the top of your head authentic answers I can get. I want the galaxy to realize that the statue on Coruscant of the ARC Trooper and the Jedi holding hands had people behind it, people with lives and feelings that didn’t start and end with saving the Republic. 

**Tano:** I like that statue. The one where she’s holding his gun and he’s holding her saber. It’s based off the last footage of them alive isn’t it? 

**A:** Yes. That frame of him holding her lightsaber is quite famous. 

**Tano:** That’s not surprising. But back to her. For the first few months after I met her, I thought she _hated_ me. She wouldn’t talk to me, would hardly even look at me. Acted as if I personally had started the war. Anakin told me after one mission where I almost snapped at her that she had lost her master on Jabiim, that she was one of two padawans to walk off that planet, and that she had to burn her padawan braid with her master’s body. 

Anakin said that it wasn’t that she hated me, it was that she hated the idea of children, padawans, in the war zone. She thought all Jedi with padawans and their padawans should be either back at the temple or continuing the work that the Jedi should’ve been doing: keeping the peace. 

I don’t know if Anakin had a talk with her or if she just started coming around but she started being nicer, talking to me about my studies at the temple, and about mechanics. I like mechanics and she understood them, liked them too, and I think she was trying to pull some normalcy onto the battlefield with us. I own a mechanic shop now. I love it.

Long lead in to say one day she showed up when Anakin, Obi-Wan and I were talking, threw her arm around my shoulders, and declared that we were going to go do a surprise gear-check for the five-oh-first. We didn’t go check gear, instead she drug me down to a restaurant in Coruscant that serves the _best_ bantha burgers and got me a burger and milkshake. She declared that we were having girl time, and that was that. It became a kind of ritual, _tradition_ I guess, for us. 

And really that sums her up. She stopped, listened, tried so damn hard to make some sense of normal life for me in the middle of the war. I think she resented that she’d become a General in a galactic war at nineteen and was trying, _desperately_ , to keep some of my childhood intact. 

**A:** **What was her and Fives’ relationship like? Can you elaborate on how it grew?**

 **Tano:** {Ahsoka grins.} Well I can honestly say that the first time I learned about their relationship was walking in on them making out against the side of a LAATi in what they thought was a deserted landing bay. That was not something I needed to see… my older sister…{Ahsoka shakes her head.} Instead of _bolting_ from the room like I would’ve done she just grinned sheepishly, slowly let go of Fives, except for his hand, she held onto that, and said “so I’m assuming you’ve got some questions.” And she and Fives sat down and talked to me about it. She explained how even since the fall out of Jabiim she… she wanted to leave the Order. 

I’ve never experienced a broken force bond but the way she told it... it’s agony that no pain meds can fix. Said she still got horrible, horrible migraines from it. And the Jedi mind healers essentially told her that there was nothing they could do, that her problem was the fact that she was so _attached_ to her Master. And she… well after that I think she kind of stopped believing in the Jedi. But she believed in Anakin, so she stayed. 

And that’s how she met Fives, so she said it wasn’t such a bad thing. But the way their relationship grew… they clearly _trusted_ one another. Hands down, blindly and without question. It was simple, easy for them. For her it was all… logical, I guess. She loved Fives so the next steps were to cherish and protect him, and make sure that he knew that. They were very good at showing that they loved each other. The brothers didn’t ever talk about it, at least not in front of their Jedi, but most of them suffer from mental illness. PTSD and depression are the most common I think. 

But anyway, Fives had nightmares and panic attacks sometimes and she would always be there with him, for him. And Fives’ brothers loved that. She, with Fives’ consent, would use the force to help him calm down. She’d project calm, and love, and safety, tell him on repeat: “I’m here. You're safe. Nothing can touch you while I’m here.” And she said it enough that it calmed everyone down. I know it made me feel better. She was a force to be reckoned with. 

And then, because I seemed to have a bad habit of walking in on them, I found them in a LAATi. She was laying on the floor, and Fives had her head in his lap and he was gently rubbing her temples. Remember those migraines I mentioned? He would sit with her through them, rub her temples, rub ice across her forehead, try to work the knots and tension out of her shoulders. She never went to Kix, never complained, but Fives always seemed to know. 

And their relationship grew like that. I’d see her reading about anxiety, and panic attacks, and ways to help, and he’d read about migraines, and what very little information he could scrounge up about broken force bonds. They took care of each other, and the rest of us. And it never seemed like they grew into that, it seemed like they started there and all that happened was that it became more solid as time went on. 

**A: Was there a moment when you knew she loved him? Or vice versa?**

**Tano:** Well, yes, actually. With her it was very simple. I asked her one day if she loved him and she said yes. And it wasn’t a big or amazing moment on the surface. 

But for her, it was _monumental_. Admitting that could have gotten her kicked out of the Jedi Order. And sometimes, the way she looked at him, I think she was hoping that someone would _ask_ so she could say yes, so she could walk away from the war. It was monumental for her because after close to two decades of being taught to repress and deny her emotions, her feelings, she _didn’t_. She walked straight into them, and embraced the storm. She wanted to feel, and she had already learned the hard way that to feel means you have to feel _both_ sides of the spectrum. And she decided that Fives was worth it. She loved him, and it was that simple. Feeling everything was worth it to her, as long as she got him out of the deal.

**A: What is one moment that you think defined their relationship?**

**Tano:** {She just laughs.} It kinda seemed that there were two different sides to their relationship. There was the funny, sweet, two-kids-in-love side, and then there was the serious, adult, talk-until-oh-dark-thirty about the philosophy of death side. 

We discussed earlier that picture that’s gone famous? The one with Fives holding her saber? Have you watched the clip? 

**A:** Yes. Master Jocasta Nu in the Jedi Archives was extremely helpful in writing this book. She helped me find the footage and the incident reports. 

**Tano:** Yes, she’s great. In the clip you can see that they’ve locked the room down. They’re deep in the center of Tipoca city, and part of the reason there’s so much mystery, as you know, is that Tipoca is at the bottom of Kamino’s ocean so we haven’t been able to find bodies or examine the wreckage. So in the footage you know that the security force is just on the other side of the door, you can see them cutting through. But when you watch closely, she smiles at Fives. He smiles at her. They clearly know they’re going to die, but they’ve made peace with that. At that point, based on the timeline, they got the files about the chips out and to the GAR. Commander Fox is taking the information to the Jedi council and the Senate. By all means, they’ve _won_. The last thing to do is to destroy the center that can control the chips, which is the room that they’ve barred themselves in. And they know, at this point, that there’s no way out. They’re cornered. But they’re ok with it. They’ll die together, and that’s the best thing they could ask for. Remember, all Fives had ever known was death, war, and loving her. And all she had ever known was the Jedi, death, war, and loving Fives. Neither of them thought they would survive the war. Their greatest fear was dying without the other. And this? To die together and to know they saved all of Fives’ brothers? They saved the Jedi Order? That’s the only thing better than the survival they never believed they would get. 

In their last moments, _they smile_. She hands him her saber because, as she liked to say, _“a saber works as a shield better than a weapon any day”_ , and then she kneels down. And no one is sure of what she’s doing exactly or what exactly happened next, like you and I both know someone would need to _find_ Tipoca’s wreckage at the bottom of the ocean, and so far it’s too deep, but what we do know from scans and witnesses is that Tipoca city went to the bottom of the ocean and destroyed the chip control center with it. In their last moments, their acceptance isn’t bitter and their have relief even in the face of death and that is what defined their relationship. They would do _anything_ for their family. 

**A:** And last question here.

 **Tano:** I know what the question is, and the answer is _no_. 

**A:** You seem very sure of that. 

**Tano:** I am. Fives and my sister did _not_ survive the destruction of Tipoca city. They were locked and barred in the most fortified room in the city, which also happened to be the center of the city. Based on video timestamps and the timeline from witnesses, she and Fives were still there as Tipoca went into the sea. His ARC Trooper training couldn’t save them from that. The fact that she was a Jedi couldn’t save them. They died that day ensuring that we and the Republic would live. Maybe that’s harsh, maybe some people will say I’m being cruel, but I _knew_ her and Fives. They wouldn’t have given up like that if there had been a way out, no way. She wouldn’t have let it happen, and neither would he. If there had been a way out, she and Fives would have found it. And they didn’t. They’re buried in the middle of Tipoca city on Kamino’s sea floor. They’ll keep their secrets of those last minutes of their lives forever. What I think is _cruel_ is people asking if we think they survived, what I think is cruel is people looking for _evidence_ of survival as if we didn’t already do that. They don’t get that we lost part of our family that day. They don’t get that the real tragedy wasn’t that the Republic lost their heroes, but that we lost a piece of our family. And no, we didn’t just _lose_ them. ‘ _Loss_ ’ would indicate the possibility of getting them back. Part of our family was taken from us that day in the worst, most horrifying, painful way possible. A way where we’ll _never_ get answers. They have their peace, _now let us have ours_. 

**A:** May I ask a follow up question? 

**Tano:** Yes. 

**A:** Why did you agree to interview with me then? 

**Tano:** Because people need to hear that. Because my brothers spoke very highly of you and your integrity. And by my brothers, I mean the 501st. But I also figured this book was a good way to get the message out. They died. End of story. Let us move on. Celebrate the lives and peace they gave you, and leave it at that. 


	4. Retired Jedi Master Aayla Secura

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author: Can you think of a specific incident that described Fives? 
> 
> Secura: I didn’t know Fives very well. I had seen him around with his brothers, and I’d fought with the five-oh-first but I didn’t know him as a person. The majority of what I knew about him as a person was through her. But I did know that he loved her, deeply. 
> 
> Bly, {from the kitchen, where he’s making coffee}: On shore leave, Fives was a goddamn idiot but on the battlefield? Rex was the best tactician the GAR ever had and Fives was shaping up to be exactly like him. Let me just say that I would never have wanted to be on the opposite side of a fight from Fives. 
> 
> Secura: Thank you, Bly. That’s a very good description. {Aayla is smiling at her husband. It’s nice to see that there are some happy endings. Aayla and Bly are excitedly awaiting the arrival of their little boy.} 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments give me life. Come scream at me on tumblr @icanbringyouincold

**Author: Can you think of a specific incident that described Fives?**

**Secura:** I didn’t know Fives very well. I had seen him around with his brothers, and I’d fought with the five-oh-first but I didn’t know him as a person. The majority of what I knew about him as a person was through her. But I did know that he loved her, deeply. 

**Bly, {from the kitchen, where he’s making coffee}:** On shore leave, Fives was a goddamn _idiot_ but on the battlefield? Rex was the best tactician the GAR ever had and Fives was shaping up to be exactly like him. Let me just say that I would _never_ have wanted to be on the opposite side of a fight from Fives. 

**Secura:** Thank you, Bly. That’s a very good description. {Aayla is smiling at her husband. It’s nice to see that there are some happy endings. Aayla and Bly are excitedly awaiting the arrival of their little boy.} 

**A: Can you think of a specific event or incident that described her?**

**Secura:** I can think of two, and both are equally important. It is impossible to describe what a force-bond feels like, and even more impossible to describe what it feels like when one _breaks_. And the first incident was the first time I saw her after Jabiim. Anakin had to help her out of the ship. There was nothing in her eyes. She stared right through me as if she was watching a ghost. The mind healers, when I saw her a few days later, said it was most likely caused by the shattering that occurs in a mind when a bond is broken, especially when it’s broken traumatically and unexpectedly. Her Master was killed there.

Before Jabiim she was always caring, deeply so, but she shoved down most of her feelings. _After_ Jabiim… For a long time it was like watching a ghost. She didn’t want to eat, hardly slept, and then it was like a switch flicked. She went from being a blank, icy wall to a solar flare. Rage seemed to simmer under her skin like second nature and for a long time I was worried one day I’d turn around to look for a friend, a sister, and see golden eyes of a _sith_ instead. 

One of the things she was most furious about was that the Jedi were still sending children, padawans to the front lines. And then she met the five-oh-first. They were ten to thirteen year old boys and she was _furious_. She was going to drag every single one of them through to the other side of the war, she told me. Come hell or high water, she would make sure her soldiers _survived_. Jabiim really screwed with her head. She was the one who tried to organize the padawan resistance on Jabiim. As I think everyone knows, she and Skywalker were the only two people to walk off of that planet. I think she carried a lot of guilt with her about it, and it manifested in this insane _need_ to ensure that every single one of her soldiers made it through the Clone Wars. Survivors guilt, I’m told, can be an unbelievably _powerful_ motivator. 

But on the other side of that, she acted as if she had decided to throw all Jedi teachings about emotions out the window. I asked her about it and she told me “If I have to live with the hell of a broken bond in my head, if I have to feel it _every damn day_ , if I have to live with practically incapacitating migraines, then I _deserve_ to feel all the good things, too. The Jedi won’t take my pain, they won’t _fix_ me, but they sure as hell can’t take my happiness. I won’t let them.” 

She was the strength and intensity of a solar flare wrapped up in a human body. 

**A: What was her and Fives’ relationship like? Can you elaborate on how it grew?**

**Secura:** War had never sat well with her, but she would have become a goddess of it if it meant no one else would touch him. I know he helped her with what happened on Jabiim a lot. I know that they bonded over growing up in a war, over books and art, and I know that when she came back from her first date with him she had on the first _real_ smile I’d ever seen from her since Jabiim. And she was my best friend, practically a sister. And she was happy with him, and that’s all I really cared about. She had suffered enough, she was still suffering. She got the migraines a lot, and none of the pain meds that the GAR medical corps had could help her. She deserved to be happy. 

And for how their relationship grew? She realized that he didn’t like her because she was a good soldier. He liked her because she was funny, and sweet, and she took the time to _care_ and _listen_ to Fives and his brothers. She wanted to make sure that they knew they were people because despite _everything_ she still hoped that there would be a day when the Republic would win the war, and when the clones would finally get to be free. I know she and Anakin talked about that a lot, talked about how they could get Senators Amidala and Bail to pass a bill about clones rights. She drafted the first version of the bill right after the five-oh-first got back from Umbara, Anakin told me. That draft was the basis for what Amidala and Bail got passed weeks after the war ended. 

And she and Fives talked about a future after the war. She was pretty sure Anakin would take the five-oh-first to Naboo where he and Padme could help them, keep an eye on them in case they needed something, and so she and Fives decided they were going to move there. She wanted to move to the lake country because she had grown up near the water before being taken into the Order, and it was one of the few memories she had left that hadn’t been tainted by blood and survivors guilt. Fives told her that he would build her a house on the lake if they both survived. _If_. But really, I don’t think either of them planned on surviving. They saw so much death, it seemed natural for them to assume that one day, before the war was over, they’d join the mountain of bodies that were piling up at the Republic's feet. 

Seeing them together, which admittedly wasn’t very often, it made me think that the force must have taken a special interest in them. If they hadn’t died I think they would have been the greatest love story the galaxy had ever seen. Instead, they ended up the greatest _tragedy_.

**A: Was there a moment when you knew she loved him? Or vice versa?**

**Secura:** I knew she loved him because I could feel it. It _burned_ through her force-signature the way a forest fire explodes across a forest. And you didn’t need to be force sensitive to see it. Anyone could see it in her eyes every time she looked at him. 

The way she loved him was sure, solid, steady. It was less a single moment of “ _Oh she loves him_ ” and more I turned around and thought “ _Oh, she got there. She’s arrived at love._ ” She and Fives were destined for one another. There wasn’t any other way it could have ended, at least not before then. Once they got to love, it was anyone’s guess what would happen next. And it ended in death. I guess we should’ve seen that coming, after all he was a soldier and she was a Jedi. I’m not sure there was anywhere else it could’ve ended. 

**Bly:** We’re a soldier and a jedi and we turned out ok. 

**Secura:** That’s true. And maybe this is the cowards way out, but sometimes I think there wasn’t anything we could have done to change their ending. Maybe she was born with tragedy carved into her bones, and he was born with death carved into his. 

**A:** **What is one moment that you think defined their relationship?**

 **Secura:** The Jedi’s relationship with the force and how we use it is a complicated one. It’s full of perils and pitfalls, but I’d never seen a Jedi _bleed_ from using the force before. 

At least, not before the time she stopped what seemed to be an entire damn mountain from collapsing on us. We were hiking through a mountain pass to get to the pick up zone when a rock-slide let go. It was huge, and I thought we were all gonna get buried. And she caught it. I was bracing for being crushed to death, and the suddenly the roar of rocks crashing over each other stopped, and all the way left was the deep groaning of a rock-slide held in a stand still. 

She stopped it and was just holding it there. She would do everything in her power to keep Fives safe. And in that moment, it meant stopping a rock-slide. Anakin and I got everyone out of the path, and then I used the force to simply yank her out of the way. She had way over exerted, and Kix is still pretty sure that she was technically in a coma for the hike to the landing zone. She had blood running out of her nose and eyes. It was… horrifying. But we were all alive, and Fives carried her out. 

She would do anything to keep him safe, and it wouldn’t surprise me if what happened on Kamino resulted in her dying to keep him safe. And it wouldn’t surprise me if Fives went down trying to save her. 

{Bly takes his wife’s hand, giver her a sympathetic smile.} 

**A:** One last question. Do you think they survived? 

**Secura:** No. I don’t believe so. I read the incident reports and… there’s no way anyone in a fortified room in the middle of the city could have gotten out. 

And yes, there’s grief there. _A lot_ of it. But I’m also grateful. Bly and I’s baby boy is due in three weeks and he wouldn’t be possible without what she and Fives did. I sobbed when I found out I was pregnant and realized I could never tell my best friend. Anakin cried when he realized she would never meet the twins. But we both realized that they wouldn’t be possible without her. The twins wouldn’t be safe, and Bly and I wouldn’t have a baby on the way. And for her? That’s all the reason she needs. She would have loved that this new life came out of her sacrificing hers, that Luke and Leia will grow up safe on Naboo. She’s at peace with that. Now we have to learn to be at peace with it, too. 


	5. Retired Jedi Master Anakin Skywalker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A: Was there a moment when you knew she loved him? Or vice versa?
> 
> Skywalker: Yeah, actually. It was when her nightmares shifted from being about Jabiim, to being about losing him. 
> 
> And as for him, I think he always kind of loved her. There wasn’t ever any question about that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments give me life, they keep me writing. come yell at me on tumblr @icanbringyouincold

**Author: Can you think of a specific event or incident that described Fives?**

**Skywalker:** I think, first off, that it needs to be noted that most of the clones were _ten years old_ when they went to war for the first time. Most of them wouldn’t live to be twelve. And now that we have the Republic’s war crimes on record, after one really shitty mission where the five-oh-first couldn’t sleep through the night because of nightmares, Rex came to her and I really worried because he couldn’t find Fives anywhere and the rest of the five-oh-first didn’t know where he was. 

She and I told Rex and the five-hundred-first to get some rest, we’d look and bring him back when we found him. And we searched everywhere on the GAR barracks, and then the whole base, every nook and cranny we could find. When it hit two in the morning and we hadn’t found him we started getting worried so on a last ditch effort before calling in Fox and the Guard for a man-hunt we decided to search the Temple. 

I found Fives buried deep in the Library’s section of mental health research papers and books. Come hell or highwater, he told me, he would understand what was wrong with him and his vods’ heads. He wanted to know _why_ they were such _broken_ soldiers when they were supposed to be perfect. 

I couldn’t tell him to just go back to his brothers, so I commed Rex and told him that Fives was fine and then we sat down and read together until Master Jocasta Nu found us at almost ten the next morning and kicked us out to go get some sleep. She held the books for us. 

And reading about that… I was a slave before Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan… I don’t want to say _rescued_ because that’s not the right word for it, but they took me away from Tatooine. But anyway, sitting next to Fives as he desperately tried to learn about why he and his brothers were broken, I realized I was being complicit in their slavery. Because that’s what they were, and she was complicit too and so were all of the jedi. But me realizing I was a terrible person isn’t relevant. What’s relevant is that Fives was determined to _explain_ to his brothers that, yes, they might be broken but it was _ok_ , it was _normal_ for soldiers to feel those things. Kix could fix any part of the body that they broke but he couldn’t fix this and Fives was determined to show his brothers that and show them that it was _normal_. 

**A: Can you think of a specific incident that described her?**

**Skywalker:** {He just laughs, but there’s too much pain in it for it to be funny.} I knew her before Jabiim. We’d grown up together as padawans. She was one of the few people who looked at my anger and told me that it was justified. She thought I should get some help for it. Help _outside_ of the Jedi order. I didn’t, and she disagreed with how I handled it, but she believed in me. She was like a sister to me. 

But an incident that described her. Well, a word to describe her would be _fearless_. As I’m sure you’ve heard, she put my reckless antics to shame. 

She would charge into any fight without a second thought. She tried to lead the padawans on Jabiim, and… well everyone knows how that went. But once she started getting better, she started fighting by just launching herself at any droid close to her. It would have been funny if it hadn’t been so terrifying. She hated fighting, and she hated the war, and for a long time I think she hated the Jedi, but she was _terrifying_ with a saber. She’d tear through battalions of droids faster than anyone. 

But it didn’t take her long to realize that wasn’t how it worked for the clones. They couldn’t just jump into the middle of a battalion of battle droids and start swinging. They had to plan, be rational and thoughtful. And so she started asking Rex, “How can I help?” and more often than not, she’d provide cover or a distraction for the clones, and it _worked_. Which was terrible, because that made her smug and she always liked to tell me that lightsabers worked better as a shield than a weapon. 

But the ability to listen and _change_ based on what she heard and to and be fearless. That was her. 

**A: What was her and Fives’ relationship like? Can you elaborate on how it grew?**

**Skywalker:** {He laughs.} Maker, she found a _partner in crime_ in Fives. They could share one look and be on the same page about some bat-shit crazy plan she had. He would have followed her straight into the heart of a solar flare. {Anakin’s face fills with sorrow at this.} Well, he followed her into death. Or she followed him, it’s really anyone's guess. But describing their relationship. 

Well, it was kind of like a lighthouse. Here we are, in the middle of the war zone, and here are two people _stupid_ in love with each other. He would sometimes find flowers to tuck into her hair, and they’d hold hands next to the fire at night. They were _living proof_ that the clones could have a happy ending, that they were people who deserved love and happiness and peace. 

And how it grew? Well it would be easier to go way back to the beginning, but we don’t really have time for that and while this is a fun _trip down memory lane_ {Anakin’s voice is absolutely dripping with sarcasm when he says that.} I don’t really want to relive the entirety of my sister’s relationship and it’s conclusion in her death. But to understand how her relationship with Fives grew it’s easiest to look at how it ended. 

Anyway, it’s kind of hard just because there’s no easy place to start. But I guess I’ll start with the short version. The chip of one of Fives’ brothers, Tup, malfunctioned and he killed a Jedi. Fives said something didn’t feel right about that, about the answers and the information, or the lack thereof that we were getting, and so Fives went with Tup to Kamino. Once there he found out that the chips weren’t the inhibitors that the Kaminoans claimed them to be, so he came back here to get help. 

I commed her to come find him with us, and in trying to beat the Guard to his position we got separated. Fives trapped us in a ray shield and was trying to tell us about the chips when the Guard showed up. Fox had his men put his blasters on stun, they wouldn’t kill one of their brothers, and besides they weren’t _stupid_. She was on her way and she would have killed everyone on Coruscant if it meant that Fives would have been safe, whether they were Fives’ brothers or not. All she would see is a blaster pointed at her husband, and she’d eliminate the threat. 

And anyway, she got there moments after the Guard did. Fives had managed to send some of the information that he had gathered to her I think, and I have no idea what she said to him in those moments when Rex and I were trapped in the ray shield, but I know that she handed him her saber as if it meant _something_ to them that the rest of us didn’t get, and I know for the first time I’d seen since Jabiim she looked _scared_. I think she thought he might not have trusted her, and out of everything she’d had been through that was the most terrifying to her. But he eventually nodded and grabbed her hand, and then they were turning and running. She stopped just before they disappeared out of the warehouse. She saluted us, smiling, and said _“We’ll see you on the other side, brothers.”_ I think that’s the last time anyone saw them alive. At least, any one who’s still alive today. 

And that blatant _trust_ , that blind, lead-me-through-the-dark trust was a huge foundation of their relationship. It led them into death together, but it also led them into saving the Republic from total destruction. 

**A: Was there a moment when you knew she loved him? Or vice versa?**

**Skywalker:** Yeah, actually. It was when her nightmares shifted from being about Jabiim, to being about losing _him_. 

And as for him, I think he always kind of loved her. There wasn’t ever any question about that. 

**A:** Plain and simple. 

**Skywalker:** Nothing was simple about war but they sure as hell made love look simple. I know they worked hard for their relationship. 

**A: What is one moment that you think defined their relationship?**

**Skywalker:** {He shakes his head.} You really like the hard questions, don't you? I think a good example would be a couple months after their wedding, during some random mission to a planet Rex probably doesn’t remember the name of, they found a field of wildflowers. We’d settled down for the night, and I was walking over to grab them for dinner, and they were slow dancing in a field of white flowers under a full moon. It was poetic. So I left them. If they could carve out little bits of peace in the middle of the war, then more power to them. 

**A:** And this is the last question. I’ve had some interesting responses to it. 

**Skywalker:** I’m sure you have. I’m pretty sure I know what the question is, and I bet it didn’t sit well with the five-oh-first or Ahsoka. But, ask away. 

**A:** **It didn’t sit well with them. They were polite, but not happy. Here’s the question: Do you think they survived?**

 **Skywalker:** In regards to this, there are four things I know for certain. One, Fives would have done _anything_ for his family. Two, she would have done _anything_ for her family. Three, she was pregnant when she and Fives went to Kamino. Fourth, not even a Jedi and an ARC Trooper can beat _death_. 

**A:** I am so sorry. I didn’t know that about her. May I ask a follow up question? 

**Skywalker:** I am, too. You can ask. 

**A:** Did she tell Fives? 

**Skywalker:** No. He never would have let her go to Kamino with him had he known. The only people who knew were me, and whoever ran the test. 

**A:** Did you try to stop her from going? 

**Skywalker:** {He laughs, but it’s sad and wistful.} No force in the _galaxy_ could have stopped her from going with her husband. 

**A:** One last question, if that’s alright. 

**Skywalker:** Sure. 

**A:** Do you think she told him before they died? 

**Skywalker:** No. She wouldn’t have told him. She would never have let him live with the _guilt_. It was something she took to her grave, literally and metaphorically. 

***

I would like to offer my most heartfelt condolences to the family and friends of ARC Trooper Fives and his Jedi. 

May she, Fives, and their child find peace in the stars. 


	6. Epilogue: there’s no peace in sacrifice (darling chase that horizon with me). Alternately: the Story of What Really Happened at Tipoca City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Fives,” she says, and he hates the defeat in her tone. “I don’t think…” He glances over his shoulder where the guards, fellow clones, are cutting through one of the last bolts on the door. 
> 
> “No air ducts?” He asks. He doesn’t remember any, but it’s best to make sure. 
> 
> “No, kair’ta.” She says. “But, I do have an idea.” He tilts his head, and grins at her. 
> 
> “You never fail to amaze me.” 
> 
> “We’re not getting out of this alive,” she tells him. He nods. 
> 
> “I know. But I’d rather die with you than alone.” She stands up and walks over to him, before holding out her saber. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments give me life. Come scream at me on tumblr, @icanbringyouincold

“Fives,” she says, and he _hates_ the defeat in her tone. “I don’t think…” He glances over his shoulder where the guards, _fellow clones_ , are cutting through one of the last bolts on the door. 

“No air ducts?” He asks. He doesn’t remember any, but it’s best to make sure. 

“No, kair’ta.” She says. “But, I do have an idea.” He tilts his head, and grins at her. 

“You never fail to amaze me.” 

“We’re not getting out of this alive,” she tells him. He nods. 

“I know. But I’d rather die with you than alone.” She stands up and walks over to him, before holding out her saber. 

“These things always did make better shields,” she says. Fives grins, takes it from her and ignites it, turning back to the door. 

“Think you're definitely-not-protocol-lightsaber training will hold up?” He says, grining. She laughs as she kneels down. 

“Long enough for me to dump this city in the ocean,” she tells him, spreading her hands on the floor. She grins at him, and Fives smiles. 

“We’ll save my brothers,” he says. She nods. 

“Yes.” Then, he turns back to the doors, and she turns back to her task. 

Ripping the entirety of the city of Tipoca off of it’s foundations and into the ocean is not a simple task. She closes her eyes and focuses, feeling the force ripple through and around her. 

The city groans as its foundations let go, and it starts a cascade into the ocean. 

Fives watches as she frowns, _snarling_ and _baring her teeth_ with the effort. Fives has seen her stop what seemed like an entire mountain. She can sink this city. 

They’ll both die most likely, but at least his brothers and the Jedi will be safe. All the damning information has been sent to Rex and Fox. That part is over, now it’s up to her to destroy the center that can control the chips. 

Of course, Fives thinks as he tightens his grip on his wife’s saber, this was _never_ the plan. The plan had been to just blow up the control room. 

Fives stumbles as the floor jerks under his feet, and then there’s the screaming, shrieking, ungodly cry of metal ripping and breaking, giving up in a fight against a force it was never going to withstand: her _willpower_. 

She’s still on the floor when he glances over his shoulder, entirely focused on her task despite the cacophony of a city sinking into the ocean, of the evacuation alarms screaming overhead. When he glances back, Fives notices they’ve stopped trying to cut through the door. They must be listening to the evacuation alarms, and assuming that they’re going to die. Fives is pretty sure they’re going to die, too. 

Another bone-jarring jerk, and the floor tilts harshly. He deactivates her saber, clipping it onto his belt. Another harsh jerk, and then a resounding crash. 

“We’re in the ocean,” she says, and Fives hates the _resignation_ in her voice. She doesn’t give up. _Ever_. 

“What do we do next?” He asks. She turns, slowly stands, and Fives notices her hands are shaking. 

It takes Fives a moment to recognize the expression on her face: _fear_. He’s never seen it before. Anger, pain, determination, grit but _never_ fear. 

“Fives,” her voice wavers, and with a shock of horror Fives’ realizes she’s crying. “I’m pregnant.” 

She’s terrified, Fives realizes. _Terrified_ , and they both know there’s no way to fix this. He pulls his gloves off, drops them on the floor as he walks over to her, wrapping one arm around her waist and the other cupping her jaw. 

“I love you,” he says. 

She tightens her fingers on the edges of his armor. 

“I love you too,” she whispers. 

“Hey,” he says, gently grabbing her chin and tilting her face up. He kisses her, soft and _sure_. “Look at me. I will do everything in my power to get you both out of here. Ok?” 

“Ok,” she whispers. 

“Trust me?” 

“ _Always_. Without question. Or hesitation.” 

“Ok. I might be able to get us out of here.” She nods. 

“Just promise me something,” she says. 

“Anything,” he tells her and they both know that’s dangerous waters. He _can’t_ promise her anything. 

“Don’t let go of my hand,” she says, tightening her fingers around his. 

“Never.” This? This is a promise he can keep. 

Carefully, or as carefully as they can be when in a city sinking into the ocean, they open the door. The hallway is empty, bathed in the blood red emergency lights. 

“I think we can get to the main ventilation shaft, and climb up it.” 

“I’ll follow you anywhere,” she tells him. 

“You followed me here,” he says. 

“Of course. I love you.” He tugs on her hand, and they jog down the hallway. 

“Should you really be running in your condition?” She grins at him. 

“I’m only eight weeks along, Fives I can run.” 

“You’re not fighting,” he says. She squeezes his hand. 

“I noticed you didn’t give my saber back.” 

“You don’t get it back until after you have that baby,” he says. She grins at him, full of love and trusting. 

“I can live with that,” she tells him. 

The hallways are deserted, but Fives stops _cold_ when he sees the water slowly crawling towards them, an inevitable conclusion to a tragic act. 

“Different route?” She asks and Fives thanks the maker for her stubborn, resolute optimism in him.

“Yeah,” he says, readjusting his grip on her hand and running down the other hall. “There’s always back-ways. Besides,” he turns just enough to wink at her, “I grew up here.”

She smiles at him, and the tears in her eyes feel like a damn _blaster shot_ to the chest. 

“Fuck,” Fives swears as he sees that the alternate hallway is also filled with water. 

He doesn’t need to be force sensitive to feel her fear, worry, and underneath it the steely determination and sheer _power_ that reside inside her. The woman is all fight and fury when confronted with a problem everyone tells her she cannot solve. This is the woman Fives fell in love with before he realized that there was so much more underneath. This is the furious, stormy ocean hiding the calm, unwavering currents underneath. 

“Through it?” She asks him, and Fives wants to burn in the fire in her eyes. 

“I don’t see any other choices.” She nods, and plunges into the freezing water with him. 

The water gets deeper the farther they go, and Fives is worried they’ll have to start swimming. 

It’s oddly quiet, and not like the reverent silence of a tomb but like the quiet that falls across a battlefield between bouts of conflict. It is the silence of anticipation, the silent warning of Death’s inevitable coming.

Fives jerks as his arm is suddenly pulled straight. He turns to where she’s stopped, looking in a cracked open door. The floor shifts again, and the whole structure groans as it tilts. 

The door slowly swings open, and Fives feels his jaw drop. He knew, objectively, that they were in the ocean, but seeing that wall of black on the other side of the glass is a whole different reality. 

“I can get us out,” she says, but she’s not looking at him. Fives’ recognizes the stone in the set of her jaw. 

“Am I gonna like it?” He asks, following her as she steps into the room, ice-cold water lapping at his shins. Even the insulating nature is his blacks can’t keep out the chill. He can’t imagine how cold she must be in just her robes. 

“Did I ever tell you about shatter point?” She asks, the groaning of the city as it sinks an ominous forewarning. 

“No,” Fives tells her, stepping close enough that his composite armor brushes against her robes. 

“Remind me to tell you later. But right now, wrap your arms around me. _Tight_.” Fives frowns, but wraps his arms tight around her, fisting his hands in her robes. 

“I’m not gonna like this,” he says. She twists her head to look at him, slowly bringing her hands up to hold them in front of her. The position looks _nothing_ like surrender, though. 

“No. But promise me something.” 

“Whatever you want.” 

“No matter what happens, no matter if we drown or if we fly, don’t let go. Don’t ever let go. _Don’t make me go where you aren’t_.”

“I promise.” 

“This is gonna hurt,” she warns him, and then she’s hardening her stance, spreading her fingers, and _shoving_. 

The window shatters. All Fives knows is that she feels like a wildfire in his arms compared to the stabbing ice of the ocean. 

And suddenly she’s moving, and Fives doesn’t know which way is up or down, and water’s rushing into his helmet, and he can’t _breathe_ , everything is _dark_ , and suddenly she’s not _there_. He can’t feel her, he can’t breathe, and _oh god_ if their baby gets hurt he will _never forgive himself_. But, he thinks as the oppressive, black cold that’s surrounding him starts pressing into his skull, leaking through his thoughts, he probably won’t _survive_ long enough to feel guilt about that. A cold hand grabs his, and he can feel the rough calluses that form from repeated saber use, and then the black battering against his skull finally rushes in, and ARC Trooper Fives goes _limp_ in the icy grip of Kamino’s ocean. 

***

Her head explodes out of the water, coughing and spluttering and gasping. She yanks off Five’s helmet, holding it as she kicks against the water. The pillars where Tipoca city used to sit are now jagged, twisted, and she can see the smoke of fires burning on the few remaining pieces of the city. But the control room is at the bottom of Kamino’s ocean, or at least well on its way there, and that’s what _matters_. 

She coughs again, desperately trying to swim against the weight of his armor and her soaking robes. She lets go of his helmet to use that arm to swim, watches the helmet sink, her other arm firmly around his chest. 

And, maker, she doesn’t think he’s _breathing_. 

“Fives,” she rasps out, voice stained and muted with salt water. “Fives!” It’s slightly louder this time, but her husband and the father of her child doesn’t move, doesn’t _respond_. 

“No, no please. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me, I can’t do this. I didn’t survive just to lose you Fives, _please_ ,” she says, gasping and coughing as rolling waves splash over them. 

“Don’t go,” she whispers. He doesn’t respond. She can see ships flying over where Tipoca once stood, and she desperately wishes she could call out to them. She reaches with her arm to try to activate her comm, but as soon as she stops using her arm to swim she and Fives slip under.

She thrashes them both back to the surface, shifting him so his head lolls back onto her shoulder. 

“Fives,”she whispers and tries to pretend that she doesn’t notice the way that the steel is _brittle_ and _cracking_. No response. 

The ships are too far away to hear her scream. She can’t spare the breath to scream, anyway. 

It’s a losing battle, she knows, trying to keep them both afloat. But she also can’t _stop_. To stop would be to kill all three of them and she won’t do that. _Can’t_. The drone of a ship doesn’t catch her attention until it’s right on top of them, hovering. She doesn’t recognize it, but a ship pulling them up is a ship, and besides it might not be white but the people dropping out of the ship are wearing _composite_ armor. Just like Fives’. 

The person who lands closest to her shouts her and Fives’ names, reaching over to yank her into their chest. 

“Hey, we’ve gotcha. Anakin and Rex sent us.” She just nods, too exhausted to really care, letting the clone pull her arm over his shoulder. 

“I’m Crosshair. You gotta let Fives go. Let Hunter take him,” the clone tells her. She shakes her head. 

“I _can’t_.” She hates how damn broken her voice sounds. He gently grabs her wrist, and peels her arm from around Fives, letting the other trooper take him. 

They get pulled into the ship, and she hears one of them swear. It’s only then that she realizes her leg is twisted in an unnatural angle. 

“ _I’m pregnant_ ,” she blurts, and then the darkness swallows her, too. 

***

Anakin isn’t _scared_. Or at least, he won’t tell Rex that he is. He’ll tell Padme later. 

But right now, his best friend, his fellow Jedi, his _sister in arms_ is laying, still, on the bed. 

She’s fine, or at least she will be, Kix assures him, but she doesn’t _look_ fine. 

Safely tucked away in a back corner of Naboo’s Royal Hospital Kix has assured him that her leg fracture has been set and will heal well, and that, in spite of everything, she’s still pregnant. Kix had laughed a little when he said that and grinned at Anakin. 

“ _Look at that kid's parents_ ,” he’d said. “ _Look at the goddamn miracle they just pulled off. It’s no wonder that the kid’s a damn fighter.”_

Anakin had just nodded. Kix was right. Really, she and Fives never should have _survived_. It was sheer, stubborn determination and a little bit of luck that they had managed what they did. Fives, who’d woken up almost thirteen hours ago, had practically staged a riot when Kix told him he couldn’t see her yet. 

After multiple reassurances from Kix and a delivery of baby ultrasound pictures, Fives has finally agreed that he would say put for a maximum of twenty four more hours provided someone was with her all the time. 

Anakin and Aayla had split most of the time with Ahsoka and Rex filling in. 

As of that moment, the three Jedi, the five-oh-first, the Bad Batch, and Bly are the only people who knew she and Fives are alive. Anakin’s pretty sure that’s how she’ll want to keep it. With a baby on the way, she’s not going to want to deal with the media, the Jedi council, _and_ the senate. And, aside from that, Anakin knows she’s _tired_. She doesn’t want to _fight_ anymore. She’s done. And the senate and the Jedi will never let her and Fives be _done_ , not after that. And, as Fives has just proven, he'll follow her anywhere and through anything. 

Anakin’s head snaps up when she twitches, face scrunching up and eyes snapping open and for the first time in the thirty six hours since the Bad Batch picked her and Fives’ up from Kamino, she’s awake. 

“Where’s Fives?” She mutters, turning her head to look at Anakin. 

“Next door. He’s fine. About to drive Kix crazy trying to come see you.”

“Good. I wanna see him,” she murmurs. 

“You’ll have to wait for Kix’s approval.” 

“Fuck that.” Anakin barks out a startled laugh. Normally, she _listens_ to the medic. And then he stops laughing when she tosses the blankets off, and throws her legs over the side of the bed. 

The broken one must hurt, but she doesn’t complain. 

“Hey, hey, Kix is gonna _kill_ you,” Anakin snaps, jumping up and grabbing her arm. She winces as she tests bearing weight on her leg. 

“Not too bad,” she mutters. 

“This is a terrible idea,” Anakin murmurs. 

“What, you _scared_ of Kix, little brother?” She asks. 

“Hey! I’m three weeks older, remember?” He asks. She shakes her head, grimacing at the pain as she takes another step. 

“I state again, for the record, this is a bad idea.” 

“Like you wouldn’t do the same thing to see Padme.” 

“Yeah but we don’t need to _talk_ about it,” he says. 

She snorts, slowly walking towards the next door. Anakin feels a shuddering breath rattle out of her chest as she reaches for the door knob and opens the door. 

Anakin always forgets how _fast_ clones are. She’s whispering Fives’ name, and Fives is up and out of the bed, catching her as she collapses into his chest. 

“Hey, hey, you’re ok. Both of you. I’m right _here_ ,” he says, one arm wrapped tightly around her back and the other cradling the back of her head, holding her against him as his riduur shatters against his chest. Anakin can’t do anything other than watch, to stand as a witness to the fire of love burning through the force, burning out the last of the ice that Kamino’s ocean left clinging to their bones. 

“I know. _I know_ ,” she says. “But I _lost_ you.” 

“No, no you _didn’t_. I’m right here.” 

“I did, Fives I felt you slip away from me and-”

“And you pulled me back to you. I _remember_ that. You always bring me back to you.” Anakin glances away as she cries, face pressed against Fives’ chest. He sees Kix walking towards them. Anakin just shakes his head a tiny bit. Kix doesn’t say anything as he comes to stand next to Anakin. 

“I’m not going back. I won’t go back to the Order. I _won’t_.” 

“The war’s over. You’ve done your duty, far above it. You’re safe now. Ok? You and our baby are safe,” Fives tells her. 

“I won’t let them touch you.” 

“You don’t get to fight. Not until you have that baby.” 

“I’ll have Aayla do it. Or Ahsoka,” she growls. Fives laughs. Anakin glances at Kix, and Kix has turned away. Anakin realizes that there’s tears in the medic’s eyes. 

“C’mon you two. Let’s lay down,” Kix tells them, and his voice is soft. She nods, and Fives helps her to the bed. Anakin nods, turning to Kix. Kix waves him off, and Anakin leaves to go find his very pregnant wife and to hug her. Tightly, but not _too_ tightly because no matter how many times Kix assures him that it’s a medical impossibility, Anakin’s still not totally sure that if he squeezes Padme too hard the twins won’t pop out. 

***

She’s asleep right now. Or, well, mostly is and might be completely asleep if Fives’ hadn’t put his hand on her lower abdomen, wasn’t tracing circles over the same spot from where he’s sitting next to her on the bed. Kix had discharged him yesterday, and Fives’ hadn’t left her side. He’s pretty sure Kix is keeping her here just because he isn’t ready to stop nitpicking at their physical health, but Fives isn’t going to ask him about it. 

“What are you thinking about?” her voice is quiet, soft, not wanting to break whatever shell seems to have closed around them. 

“You have another human in you,” Fives says, pressing his hand against the still-flat space between her hip bones. She reaches down, puts her hand over his. 

“That is how pregnancy works,” she tells him. 

“I know, but it’s just. You’re _literally growing another human_. An entirely new human as we speak.” She brushes her fingers across the back of his hand. 

“Yes,” she tells him. 

“But it’s entirely new. It’s not… It’s not the same as anyone else. This baby is different.” She tilts her head at him. 

“What do you mean?” 

“My brothers and I… we’re identical.” 

“You’re not. Physically, yeah I guess, but that’s where it ends. You’re different _people_.” She tells him. Amber eyes flick up to hers. 

“I know that. Or, at least it’s really starting to sink in. But you can just… I mean you’re literally creating new life that is unlike anything in this _galaxy_. A whole new person who isn’t the same as anyone else, and it’s amazing. I didn’t do anything! Well, technically I did _you_ to make the baby but that was it! I didn’t even give you a full set of blueprints! I only gave you half, and you’re doing the rest! You’re _amazing_!” She smiles at him, moving the hand she had over his to cup his face. 

“You’re amazing, too.” Fives smiles at her, aware that there’s tears in his eyes and really not caring because this amazing woman in front of him carried their baby through the hell that was Kamino, she carried their baby through the ocean, and a broken leg, and trauma. She’s living proof, she’s _creating_ living proof that the clones are humans who can love, be loved, and are entirely deserving of love in their own rights as people. Fives just smiles at her, turns his head and kisses her palm. 

***

“So Anakin and I have some ideas,” Aayla says as she, very gently, flops on the bed next to her. Fives grunts from his place in the chair as Aayla tosses her legs into his lap. Ahsoka squishes in on her other side, careful of her leg even though it’s almost completely healed, just a few hairline fractures left. Kix claims he’s still keeping her because she’s pregnant and won’t let her go until she has a complete bill of health, but everyone knows it’s because she _scared_ Kix. 

“Correction, Anakin, Aayla, and I have some ideas,” Ahsoka notes.

“Ideas for what?” She asks, glancing at the two women she considers sisters. Fives shrugs from his spot in the chair when she glances at him. 

“For where we’re going to stash you. Now, look at these houses,” Aayla says, shoving a data pad in her face. She grabs it, frowning at her long-time friend, and pulls it back to where she can actually read it. Fives watches as his wife’s eyebrows raise practically to her hairline. 

“ _Maker_ , Aayla I was Jedi and Fives was a soldier what the hell makes you-” she makes an indignant noise as Ahsoka slaps her hand over her mouth. 

“Don’t say a _word_ about the price,” Ahsoka says, before glancing at Aayla. “I told you we should have taken the prices off before we showed her. Stress isn’t good for the baby.” Fives snorts. 

“I am right here!” She says, after managing to peel Ahsoka’s hand off of her mouth. 

“Naboo is paying for it,” Ahsoka says. 

“Naboo?” She asks. 

“Yes.” 

“You mean Padme.” 

“Maybe,” Aayla allows. She rolls her eyes. 

“Absolutely not,” she tells the girls before looking at Fives. “We are not letting Padme buy us a house.” Fives feels a grin start to spread across his face, and he braces his forearms on Aayla’s legs. 

“Why not? We’re heroes of the Republic,” 

“Fives! You’re supposed to be on _my_ side,” she says. He shrugs. 

“You did have a point earlier. I don’t think we could afford a dinky shack on Tatooine,” he says. She rolls her eyes. 

“Don’t tell Anakin you said that,” she says. They all look up when Kix pokes his head in. She immediately perks up. 

“Kix be my voice of reason. Tell them that Padme shouldn’t buy Fives and I a house.” Kix raises an eyebrow. 

“I am not getting involved in this. Pain level?” he asks. 

“Maybe a three.” 

“Tylenol?” He asks. She shakes her head, and Kix ducks back out the door. She huffs as she leans back against the bed, where it’s been sat up. Aayla grabs her chin, and tilts her head down so she’s looking at the house again. 

“Houses,” Aayla says. 

“What was the criteria?” She asks. 

“Planet with enough industry and people for you and Fives to blend in and find jobs, but no space ports with more than three docks.” Aayla and Ahsoka grin as she shakes her head. 

“Yeah, we’ll look through them,” she concedes. The two retired Jedi smile at her. 

“Now, tell us about this little niece of ours that you’re gonna give us,” Aayla demands. 

“Oh maker, _spare me,_ we don’t know that it’s a little girl, Aayla.” 

“Like you and Fives could make anything else. When are you due?” Fives smiles as she rolls her eyes, accepting the gentle patting of her still-flat stomach from Ahsoka, and Aayla’s incessant questions. 

This is what _safety_ feels like. This is what _happiness_ feels like. 

***

“You’re sure they’ll like that one?” Ahsoka murmurs, leaning in closer to Rex as they examine the display case. 

“I think so. They’d hate something flashy. Plus we can pry the name of that metal worker out of Hunter and get them engraved.” 

“Why does Hunter need a metal worker?” Ahsoka asks him. Rex's face screws up at that. 

“According to Cross, he’s very, _very_ particular about his knives.” 

“ _Yikes_ ,” Ahsoka murmurs before turning back to the case. “Another thing is she works as a mechanic so something durable, and Fives is a teacher, he’ll need something smooth that won’t catch on kids or projects.” Rex hums in agreement. 

“Hello you two!” The grey-haired and _very_ chipper sales woman says, walking over to where Rex and Ahsoka are standing in front of the ring case. 

“What are we looking for today?” She asks. 

“Wedding rings,” Ahsoka tells her. 

“Oh wonderful! An excellent way to celebrate the end of the war!” The war has been over for a few months, but neither Rex nor Ahsoka correct her. 

“What about those? How durable are they?” Rex asks. The woman, Alissa according to her name tag hums as she glances at the ones Rex is pointing out. 

“For a mechanic?” She asks, and gestures to the oil and grease that seem to permanently stain parts of Ahsoka's fingers.

“Yes,” Ahsoka tells her. 

“They’d be wonderful. The metal originates from Alderaan, and is extremely durable.” 

“And what if we wanted to inscribe something? Like engraving it?”

“Oh yes. That’d be possible if you found an experienced metal smith. We don’t have those capabilities at our store, I’m afraid. May I ask when the big day is?” Alissa asks, smiling. 

“Big day?” Rex asks her. 

“Of course! For you wedding! When you’ll exchange your rings?” Rex sees Ahsoka’s shocked expression. 

“He’s my _brother_!” She says at the same time Rex says:

“That’s my _sister_!”

Alissa looks mortified, hand coming up to cover her mouth. 

“I’m so sorry,” she says. “Who are you buying the rings for?” 

“My parents,” Rex says at the same time as Ahsoka says,

“My older sister.” Rex kicks her ankle. 

“Our parents. We’re getting them for our parents,” Rex says. Alissa’s eyes flick between the two of them before she nods and her customer-service smiles slips back on. 

“Of course! How sweet of you two. Now, if you like these, what size do we need, and are there any adjustments that need to be made for species?” 

“No species adjustments. What did you do with the size paper?” Ahsoka asks. Rex pulls it out of his pocket. 

“Here.” Alissa still has a slightly constipated smile on, but she starts taking out the appropriate sized rings. 

***

Obi-Wan Kenobi is not a man _scared_ easily. And he supposes that what he’s feeling probably _isn’t_ fear, but it’s definitely something unpleasant as he walks up the stone path that’s lined by flowers on either side. 

The cottage itself is grey wood, probably most likely due to the easier upkeep, but the door is a bright, cheery yellow and the trim is white. Behind the house is a couple hundred yards of rolling, grassy dunes and then the multi-shaded blue of the ocean. It’s picturesque, and exactly what his… well, years ago he would have called her his daughter, and she’s Anakin’s sister there’s no doubt about that, but after the Citadel… 

He’s got a bundle of flowers gripped tightly in one hand, and a present wrapped in brown paper in the other. He watches as his feet walk him up the steps of the porch, and he shifts the present onto the arm holding the flowers so he can knock on the door. 

He hears someone moving around, and the door swings open. 

He sees shock spread across her face. 

“Master,” she says. 

“Hello,” he says, and then shoves the flowers forward. “I’m glad you’re not dead.” She slowly takes the flowers, then jerks her head towards the inside of the house. 

“Do you want tea?” 

“You don’t like tea,” he says. She shrugs. 

“But _you_ do.” Obi-Wan nods, tries and fails to manage a smile. She nods, and leads him into the kitchen. 

“Fives doesn’t drink much tea, but we’ve got some green, chamomile, or some awful star-cherry stuff that Wolffe likes.” 

“Green is fine,” he says. She nods, turning to the kettle and filling it with water and pulling out the tea bag and a cup. Obi-Wan frowns at the flash of silver on her left hand. 

“You’re married,” he says. 

“I have been for several years now.” Obi-Wan winces. It hurts to think that neither of his kids trusted him with their weddings, their love, but he knows that he deserves that. He’s not sure he would have gone to the council with that information but… He knows he wouldn’t have reacted well, not at first. 

“To Fives?” He asks. He sees her stiffen, the way she curls her arms around herself. Then, she straightens her spine, turns to look him dead in the eyes. 

“Yes.” She tells him. 

“I’m happy for you. That you’re happy.” She steps closer, tilting her head as she picks the flowers up off the counter. 

“Are you happy, Obi-Wan?” She asks, and he doesn’t miss the sincerity in her voice. He always knew that what she showed to him was widely different from what she let Anakin and Aayla see. 

“I need to apologize. For what happened at the Citadel.” Obi-Wan sees a blank look flash across her face, the steel doors slamming closed. He flinches as the sudden chill that permeates her force-signature. 

“You were scared. I get it,” she says. Obi-Wan shakes his head. 

“I made what I thought were the right decisions, yes. But the way I reacted after what you did for Echo…” He shakes his head. “It was uncalled for.” 

“Your reaction to that is exactly why I never told you about my husband,” she says, turning back to the stove when the tea kettle starts screaming. 

“I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan says. He sees her shoulders drop. 

“I get that you were scared. You thought you were doing what was necessary to keep as many people alive as possible,” she says. “I let it go a long time ago.” 

“But you didn’t forgive me,” Obi-Wan presses. He hears her sigh as she sets his tea in front of him and slides into the seat across from him. 

“Forgiveness for what you did isn’t necessary. You acted with the best interests of the team in mind. As the leader of the mission you had to think of the safety of the whole versus the safety of the one. What I haven’t forgiven you for is the way that you took that fear out on me for rescuing Echo.” 

“It was _reckless_.” She shrugs. 

“I didn’t care. Still _don’t_. I saw a way to save my husband more pain, and to save a good friend, so I acted. If it’s any consolation, I would have done the same for you.” 

“I wouldn’t want you to risk your life for me,” he says. She huffs, crossing her arms. She looks like she’s gained a little weight, which makes Obi-Wan happy. She was always a little too skinny during the war. 

“You’re right,” he admits. “I shouldn’t have taken my fear out on you. All I could see was the possibility of you dying and…” He stops, and she doesn’t say anything. She’s looking at the wall, at a framed picture hanging there. Fives is holding her saber, and Obi-Wan thinks they must be at 79’s. She’s grinning at Fives, pressed against his side, and he can practically feel the love dripping out of the photo. “I thought you had some misplaced sense of survivor's guilt.” Obi-Wan finishes. Her head snaps back around towards him, and she raises an eyebrow. 

“You thought my decisions had to do with _Jabiim_?” She says, and then scoffs. “It had nothing to do with that hell-hole. My decision was based solely on making sure Fives’ didn’t lose another brother, and saving my friend.” Obi-Wan looks down at his tea. 

“I know that, now.” She sighs, glancing out the window. 

“I know you hated fighting in the war,” he tells her. “I know you hated the hypocrisy of it. I cannot imagine what you and Fives went through on Kamino, or what losing Tup was like for him. You two deserve this. A happy ending. If you’ll forgive me, I’d love to be here to see it,” he says. He can’t get a read on her force-signature, she’s shielding from him, but she doesn’t look like she’s going to throw him out. 

“Stay here,” she says, standing up and disappearing through a doorway farther into the room. Obi-Wan thinks it must be the master bedroom. 

She reappears moments later, holding a framed picture. She sits down, and slides the photo in front of him. Obi-Wan feels his jaw drop when he realizes what he’s looking at. He focuses on the force and… _yes he can feel it_. 

“You’re _pregnant_ ,” he says. She leans back, offers him a small smile. 

“You’re going to be a grandfather. I found out not long before Fives’ and I went to Kamino.” Obi-Wan doesn’t really care that there’s tears welling up in his eyes as he smiles at her. She grins back at him. 

“You’re getting old. You have a grandkid on the way,” she tells him. He laughs, and it sounds startled as it jumps out of his chest. 

“I am not _old_!” He says. She raises an eyebrow at him. 

“Are you sure? I think I see some grey hair,” she says. 

“Is that how you show respect?” He asks, holding a hand to his chest in mock offense. She shrugs. 

“What can I say? My husband must be rubbing off on me.” Obi-Wan smiles at her, and then remembers what he brought. He pushes it across the table towards her. She frowns as she takes it. 

“What’s this?” 

“A gift.” She frowns, picking it up and slowly opening it. Obi-Wan sees her smile, sees her brush her fingers over the picture. In it she’s sitting next to him, grinning, while Obi-Wan is staring at her in horror as if she had just suggested she was going to fist-fight General Grievous, and Anakin and Ahsoka are staring in rapt attention, hanging onto her every word. Aayla is leaning into her, hand on her stomach and face scrunched up as she laughed. They all look younger, far younger. She flips it around, notices the writing on the back. 

_“Walking away from the Order does not mean walking away from your family.”_ She looks up at him, and smiles. 

“I know, Obi-Wan. _I know._ ” 

***

“What did happen to my saber?” Fives glances over at her from his book. She’s laying on her side, head on his thigh, trying to keep the migraine building in the base of her skull at bay. 

“It sank with my helmet. Probably got knocked off when you shattered the window,” he tells her. She hums, closing her eyes again. Fives goes back to trying to rub the tension in her neck out. 

“Does that bother you?” He asks. 

“No,” she tells him. He frowns, tilting his head down to look at her. She’s not lying, she wouldn’t lie to him, but he feels like she’s not telling him the full story. 

“What’s in your head, riduur?” He asks her. She opens her eyes in the dimness of the room, twisting just enough to look up at him. 

“This,” she says, gesturing to everything in their bedroom including the bassinet that Hunter and Tech had brought by. It was wood, and they’d cleaned it up and painted it white. A belated housewarming gift, or early baby gift depending on how they wanted to look at it, Hunter had told them. “And her,” she says, running her hand across her stomach and the new life she’s carrying. “This is everything the Jedi told me I wasn’t _supposed_ to have, to _want_. This is everything the war taught me to stop _hoping_ for. I liked to say that lightsabers made better shields than weapons but for most of my years as a fully fledged Jedi knight, I used it as nothing but a weapon. I want the war, those memories, that _piece_ of me to stay buried at the bottom of Kamino’s ocean. I have you, and our baby girl, and I don’t want my saber or the Jedi anymore.” Fives brushes loose hair back from her forehead, smiles at her soft and sure. 

“You’ve got us, kair’ta. We’re not going _anywhere_.” she smiles at him, pats his knee. 

“I know. And I wouldn’t change a damn thing,” she says. Fives grins. 

“I would. I would like to have avoided almost drowning,” he says. She laughs, and it’s soft and quiet and it fills all the spaces of their home that sometimes get a little cold, a little dark as memories of the war and the ghosts of family they lost get a little too close. 

***

Rex stops, turns towards her as she stops in the doorway of the room. He feels relief flood through him as she smiles. 

“Rex, this is _amazing_ ,” she whispers, stepping in. He’s painted the room they plan on using as a nursery, a baby gift, he told them. 

The ceiling is a dark blue and painted from one corner of the room to the other is an entire galaxy, swirling stars and nebulas, blues and purples and blacks, and she almost swears that she can see them moving. And through all that, Rex has scattered stars and planets. She recognizes Alderaan, and Tatooine which Anakin will hate, and Coruscant, and Naboo. She’s aware of the tears in her eyes, but she pretends that they’re not there. 

The darkness drips from the ceiling down the wall opposite the window, slowly lightening until it’s a sunrise with half of the sun over the baseboard. The other walls are white to reflect the light around the room. 

Rex grins at her as she turns to look at the retired clone captain. 

“ _Thank you_ ,” she says. Rex frowns, stepping closer to grab her upper arms. 

“Don’t cry. Fives’ kill me if I make you cry,” he says. She shakes her head, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. 

“He has no standing ground. I cried when he made me coffee this morning.” Rex laughs as he wraps his arms around his pregnant former general. 

“Hormones kicking your ass?” He asks. 

“You have no _idea_ ,” she tells him. He kisses the crown of her head, tightening his arms. 

***

“Look at this one,” Ahsoka says, leaning forward to show her another onesie. It’s cute, black with stars spattered across it. 

“It’s cute,” she says. Aayla flicks her shin. 

“Hey, stop moving,” she says from where she’s painting her toenails since she can’t bend over far enough to read them anymore. 

“Have you see the unbelievable amount of onesie pictures Ahsoka has?” She asks. Aayla laughs, shakes her head. 

“She has an entire folder dedicated to ones she wants to get for Bly and I when we have a baby.” Ahsoka shakes her head. 

“My nieces and nephews will be the cutest dressed babies in the galaxy,” Ahsoka declares. She laughs, throwing her arm around Ahsoka’s shoulders. 

“Thank you, little sister,” she says, kissing Ahsoka’s temple. Ahsoka grins. 

“That’s what I’m here for.” 

“You seriously need to stop moving, ok? This is harder than it looks,” Aayla tells them. She just grins. This is her happy ending. This is her sisters’ happy endings, and she couldn’t wish for anything _better_. 

***

Fives wishes he could say that he was a _supportive husband_ , that he stood right next to his wife as she brought their little girl into the world, but _no_. He passed out, and Jesse had to sit with him in the ER as he got a bacta patch and stitches where he slammed his forehead into the ground. 

However, as Jesse repeatedly assured him, Ahsoka was with her the whole time, held her hand and was the amazing little sister that she is, and their little girl had been healthily brought into the world at four twenty three in the afternoon on a Wednesday in the middle of winter. 

Jesse had also told him that after being moved onto the mom-baby unit she had been adamantly refusing visitors until Fives got there, and apparently the poor nurses were getting tired of the two ex-Jedi and five clones that were packed in the waiting room and were rather impatient to meet their niece. 

Fives had managed to slip past his brothers and straight to her room as soon as the ER doctor had given him the go ahead to leave. 

She’s asleep, laying on her side, hand curled protectively around the edge of the bassinet. 

Fives is quiet as he slips across the room, and he’ll deny to his _dying day_ to practically anyone that he fell to his knees but the fact of the matter is that the sight of his sleeping seven pound six ounce baby girl sound asleep next to her mother brings the former-ARC Trooper to his knees faster than a blaster bolt _ever_ could. 

“Hi, Kianira,” he whispers, spreading his hand over the little bundle. “Welcome to the galaxy, ik'aad.” He sees his wife shift, and feels guilt flash through him. 

“Hey,” she murmurs, reaching out to brush her fingers across the bacta patch. She’s frowning. “Are you ok?” She asks. He nods, catching her hand and kissing the wedding ring, the back of her hand, before pressing her palm to his cheek and holding it there. 

“You’re so _amazing_ ,” he murmurs. “You’re not mad at me?” 

“No. But Ahsoka might be. I think I bruised her hand,” she says. Fives smiles, feels the tears spill over at her, at their little ik’aad. He leans forward across the bassinet, and presses his forehead against hers.

“ _Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum_ ,” he murmurs. 

“I love you, too,” she tells him. “And I’m expecting you to teach our daughter Mando’a.” He smiles. 

“How else are we gonna talk behind your back about how much we love you?” He asks. She smiles, turns her head enough to kiss his jaw. 

“You should hold her,” she says. Fives casts a wary glance at the sleeping baby. 

“I won’t wake her up?” He asks. She shrugs, and shifts to push herself so she’s sitting up. 

“Even if you do, she should get to meet her father.” Fives stands up to sit on the bed at the end of the bassinet. “But you should take your shirt off. Skin contact is good for babies,” she says. Fives tilts his head, but pulls his shirt off anyways. He misses the grin that flashes across his wife’s face. 

Seven pounds and six ounces seems infinitely heavier than Fives thought it would as he gently picks her up, cradling her head, and brings her against his chest, tucking her into the crook of his arm. He’s _crying_ now, and if it were in front of anyone else he’d be ashamed, but not in front of her, not in front of their daughter. She scoots forward to lean against his shoulder, brush her hand down Fives’ back. 

“She can’t feel my skin through the blankets. You just wanted me shirtless,” Fives accuses her. She shrugs. 

“I deserve it. I just pushed six pounds and a little more out of me,” she says. Fives’ snorts, turns to kiss her forehead before looking back at the little bundle in his arms. 

Kianira is a _miracle_. The daughter of a man bred for war and woman taught to spurn love since she was three years old. Kianira is a reflection of their relationship: her fury and determination, her steel spine and grit, his loyalty and stead-fast devotion, his bravery and strength. She’s the promise of a new beginning, a new time. The war is over, the galaxy is healing and Kianira is living breathing proof of that: she’s the dawn of a new age, a legacy of love and trust. Fives bends down, and kisses his daughter’s forehead. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to explain to his wife what she’s given to him today, but he thinks that, of anyone, she _understands_.

***

Cody and Rex bring flowers, and Kix will not stop _bugging_ Anakin about how he wore a suit to meet his niece. As Fives expected from a woman who thrived on chaos, she just leans back and watches as the clones, Anakin and Ahsoka whisper-argue over who gets to hold their niece next. 

Aayla, the significantly more sensible one, opts to sit next to her best friend on the bed, handing her the contraband caffeinated caff that she isn’t supposed to have until after she’s out of the hospital. 

Cody tries to pull rank, which results in Anakin trying to pull rank on _him_. Fives glances at her, and she’s smiling, leaning against Aayla’s shoulder. Fives can tell that she’s still tired, but she also wouldn’t trade this for the world. Her family is here, and she’s _happy_. Fives is, too. 

***

“Did I tell you the book only took twelve minutes to soar to the top of the charts?” She asks, leaning into Fives’ shoulder as they walk down the beach behind their two year old daughter. One hand she has wrapped around his, the other holding a cup of caff. 

“Do you think we’ve taken this being dead thing too far?” He asks. She glances up at him, and back to their daughter. 

“No. The galaxy never would have left us _alone_. Left _her_ alone. Besides, we still get to see our family.” 

Kianira, their two year old daughter, bends down and makes a sound of pure joy as she picks up a shiny piece of shell, turning to gleefully show it to her parents. Fives grins as he leans down, letting her set it in his hand. 

“Uncle Ecky!” She declares. Fives smiles, feels his wife brush her fingers over his shoulders. 

“We’ll give it to Echo next time he comes by, ok?” Fives asks her. She thinks about it for a moment, and then must decide that’s a suitable compromise because she turns around to keep toddling down the beach. 

“Did Echo tell you about the sign Jesse made him?” She asks Fives. Fives shakes his head as he stands up, pocketing the shell. “Jesse made Echo a sign that says ‘The Favorite Uncle Shell Collection’ on it and propped it up on their fireplace with all the shells.” Fives laughs. 

“That sounds like Jesse.” 

“Remind me, parent teacher conferences are this week?” She asks him. 

“Yes,” he says, before sighing. “ _Unfortunately_.” She grins at him, leaning up to kiss his jaw.

“You’ll have a great time,” she says. Fives scoffs, tightens his hand around hers. 

“Kianira Tup, what in the _maker’s name is that_?” She asks, dropping Fives’ hand to reach out to their daughter, who’s gleefully saying, 

“Buir!” And holding out what looks like some kind of bug to her parents. 

“I hope that’s not poisonous,” she says as she squats down to her daughter’s level. 

“What’s that? Something fun?” Fives asks. 

“Wiggly!” Kianira declares, dropping it into her mother’s hand. 

“It really is, wow,” she says. 

“Mama hold please,” Kianira tells her before turning and continuing down the beach. She turns and looks at Fives, raising an eyebrow. 

“I guess I’m a bug holder now,” she says. Fives just laughs, wrapping his arms around her waist. She holds the bug as far away from them as physically possible, and Fives _kisses_ her. 

“You’re an excellent bug holder,” Fives says. She laughs, leaning into her husband as the daughter squeals with delight. 

“She found another shell.” 

“Tell Echo he needs to come pick them up.” Fives laughs, kisses her again. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” 

**Author's Note:**

> The talking about making babies scene was written and suggested by Ren @thegoodbatch on tumblr. Go give her fics some love.


End file.
